Archive for May, 2005

His love is beautiful…

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005

I just realized that I have inferiority complex! How I view myself so negatively sometimes, even if I know that I have lots of good qualities. Sometimes I can be so dramatic, but I know there’s an underlying reason…it’s weird, because I just realized how inferior I view myself. And the fact that I am so full of imperfections makes it all the more worse.  I realized it because Jaga told me to stop thinking so low of myself, while we were talking..erm..chatting on Yahoo! Messenger yesterday…siguro dala na rin ng pagiging windang ko sa problema..sa mga problemang pinoproblema dahil sa iisang problema..sana naiintindihan nyo..ayun…I don’t know why I suddenly released all my frustrations and shortcomings while I was talking to him…God’s intervention? maybe..the right person to talk to din kasi eh. Sobrang thankful talaga ako for the erm..counselling session (sorta) that we had. I realized just how weak I am…and how imperfect…and how much I do need my Perfect GOD! It’s proof that I need Him sooooooo much!!! And it’s just right to say that HE will take care of everything..I’m trusting in Him..I do..I’m placing my trust in Him..AAAAAAH!!!!! His love is so beautiful! Kare no ai wa suteki desu!

Boy Meets Girl…

Sunday, May 29th, 2005

I just started reading Joshua Harris’ book, Boy Meets Girl. Tinamaan ako sa lahat ng chapters! Grabeh! I just realized how entirely wrong I’ve been with my mishmash-extremely messy, deeply murky lovelife. First and foremost…I never sought God about it..and now, I’m so bummed…aaargh!!! It’s like i want to bump my head on a wall over and over and say "why didn’t you listen micah?!" I remember what Carlo told me about being careful in getting into relationships with the wrong people. (Not that I was getting into a relationship at that time or at any time for that matter.) He even gave an example for better understanding, which I will be sharing in a while. This is what he said (what i can remember at least)…

We are running on a road.  There will be a person who will fall into step with us as we run..that person is God’s best for you.  We shouldn’t go for people who will slow our pace down, someone that you have to drag along nor with people who will drag you. There will be some people who will fall in perfect timing to our pace, but sometimes they take a different turn somewhere down the road. The person meant for us is the person who will run with us on the same road, at the same pace.  Someone who, when you fall, will pick you up and not drag you along. 

All the people running on the lane represent different kinds of people that i’d rather not say…i would gladly explain if you want to know..but it might offend some people kasi so there.

I just wanted to express this…so that for my friends who know my bogus love life can understand more or less what I mean to do…

Fun and Tiring Day

Saturday, May 28th, 2005

Today, I went to ALabang Town Center at 9:30 in the morning! yessir…9:30..hindi pa nga bukas ang town! haha! I went to ATC that early because Carlo (a good friend of mine from UP) came with his dad..and while waiting for his dad to finish work, stayed at Town. Since it was a rare opportunity to go to the mall with a friend from UP (esp. CArlo coz he lives all the way in Lagro, QC) I met up with him.  We then went to Festival Mall to meet up with another friend of ours, Revin (a.k.a. my boyps). It was a very pleasant lunch cz I was having lunch with two very good friends of mine. Then we went to ATC again coz I was meeting with my camp cabin mates (woohoo 8509!!!!) at 2. so there..i spent the whole day out of the house cz ryt aftr watching Mdagascar, we 8509-ers went straight to church for our youth service! haha..it was a fun but a really tiring day. It was great ’cause i was able to spend time with great friends! And I was also able to spend the evening with my brothers and sisters in Christ!:)

At youth, nga pala, I was blessed by the testimonies that my friends shared…sobra! Eventhough I already knew what Steph shared beforehand, listening to her testimony again was a simple reminder of what I really need to do soon!!!! i know putting it off won’t do me good..actually, i find myself quite stupid. Kasi alam ko na nga na dapat kong gawin di ko parin ginagawa..PASAWAY! I have lots of apprehensions din kasi (which kuya Ian knows haha..) about the thing that I need to do.

"Father I will not worry about tomorrow

Or all of its questions

Father I WILL JUST TRUST YOU

and I will be waiting for treasures in heaven

My heart is with You for there my treasure lies

My eyes are on You for YOU ARE MY DELIGHT

Though I may not wear the garments of princes

You are my portion, You are my portion

For You clothe me in Your righteousness

You are my portion, You are my portion

Though I may not sit at the table of kings

You are my portion, You are my portion

For You feed me FROM THE ABUNDANCE OF YOUR HAND

You are my portion, You are my portion Lord."

I hope there goes my apprehensions! haha..

btw..if you’re reading my blog, kindly comment..or drop a message..:) thanks!

Hope…

Friday, May 27th, 2005

There’s this new song that I like. Hope by Twista and Faith Evans.  First time I heard it was on the bus going home from camp. It’s weird ’cause I’m not really a rap fan, but the message of the song somehow reflects my sentiments about today’s world. Here goes:

I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I’m on the block, And I
Wish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won’t have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn’t sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)
Wish my homies wouldn’t have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)
Wish I could teach a could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them high, And I
Wish God never gave the men power
To be able to hurt the people inside the Twin Towers, And I (I wish)
Wish God woulda turned their hearts righteous,
When they started to take innocent lives and become snipers, But uh
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who’s gonna die today,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain’t gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let’s HOPE!

[CHORUS (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and He’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful

[VERSE 2 (Twista)]
I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have ‘em trippin of the joy I bring,
I wish that we could hold hands,
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that’s on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish) <–{i like that line}
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don’t nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain’ strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breathe again, (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that enemies could talk,
And that super homie Christopher Reeves could still walk, (I wish)
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let’s HOPE

[CHORUS (Faith Evans)]
Cuz I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful

[VERSE 3 (Twista)]
Wish the earth wasn’t so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don’t listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country wouldn’t have to go to war,
Why can’t we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King “Why can’t we all just get along”,
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it’s you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let’s HOPE

[CHORUS (Faith Evans) X2]
Cuz I’m hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he’ll make a way
I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay.
cause we hopeful

That’s why I like the song…’cause I am Hopeful that HE will make a way..:) The world needs more songs like this. Lately, most songs are so full of hatred, angst, sex, violence and drugs. Music is such a powerful tool..it’s inevitable that you get a message across through it. That’s why we need more songs like this.

A Veteran Camper’s Firsts

Wednesday, May 25th, 2005

From May 18-21 I attended our church’s youth camp.  This year’s camp was held in Subic and I knew I didn’t want to miss it for anything.  This camp was my 5th youth camp.  Much to my disappointment, people thought that I was going to camp as a campselor (camp counselor)!!!! But I still qualify as a camper…and i plan to be a camper until my age says i can’t…:D so that leaves me about 2-3 more years.(yikes!) Anyway, being a veteran camper, i knew camp traditions…"Round-the-table", cuffing (which they didn’t do this year), no lights out on the last night, war games and talents’ night.  But though a veteran camper, I witnessed and had lots of firsts during this camp.  This was the first camp where I sat out on war games (due to an unexpected fever).  This was also the first camp where ammunition for war games were water balloons (for real), because before we used plastic ice bags…which i think they should return next camp! (*chants* more ammunition! more ammunition!)This was also the first youth camp that I was part of the praise and worship team, the first camp that lots of people thought I was a campselor, the first camp where the girls played dodgeball.  It was also the first camp where I was a victim of "Round-the-table" tradition…for real. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, this camp was the first camp where the tribe i was in won over-all champion (Ju-Dah! Ju-Dah!!!!) yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!  Amazing…so many firsts for a veteran camper…So many things happened during camp, and i know going to camp was worth my leaving school 2 days earlier than scheduled. Being a member of the Tribe of Judah was a blast! My small group was the best and my cabin mates…the prettiest, funniest, loveliest and most amazing girls at camp! hehehe…I was able to let out lots of kept feelings and just release them and pour them out to the people i least expected to have shared those with. At camp I finally also realized something i needed to do long ago…something that a lot of people have been telling me to do, but i just wouldn’t listen…Right now, I know I need to do it, I just don’t know how…but i do trust that God will help me do it.(^_^) And at camp, I gained new friendships, rekindled old ones, and enjoyed being in God’s presence…HE rocks!!!!!

haay envisci!

Wednesday, May 4th, 2005

right now im at a computer shop at the Shopping Center of my school, waiting for my next class.  Katatapos lang ng aking mahabang pagsusulit sa Environmental Science 1.  This time, I have finally realized how good God is to me! This morning, around 6:30, a friend texted me, asking if i had any prayer concerns.  I immediately thought of my exam today and asked her to pray for me.  I also breathed a short prayer as I was going up the stairs to our classroom…Lord, I really need to get a high score on this exam..kailangan ko po talagang bumawi. Help me to remember the things that i have written and read in my notebook and the things that we discussed in class. Also grant me practical knowledge to be able to answer the questions that cannot be answered by the things in my notebook. Thanks Lord! Amen..and guess what? IT WORKED! He helped me remember certain formulas that i on my own would not have remembered. And these formulas helped me get 30 points (I’m quite confident of my answers kasi..hehe:D) i hope…. anyway, this is all for now…I should get to my next class..more to come!

Superman…

Sunday, May 1st, 2005

Could you be my superman?

Here to protect me

from those who plan my fall

i feel secure in your arms…

Could you be my superman?

Here to save me

not from them but from myself

I know, with you, I am safe.

Could you be my superman?

Here to comfort me

from my own disappointments

I know, with you, I am calm.

Could you be my superman

and I your Lois Lane?

I may not be superwoman,

but I know, with you, I am.