Unleashed Thoughts

I haven’t blogged for quite some time now, and this entry is just to share what our class in PanPil 19 thinks about what characteristics and ideal guy/girl possesses.

Sir Omeng asked the guys to list down all the characteristics of their ideal girl, and this is what they listed:

1. tahimik

2. malinis

3. organized

4. madaling makibagay

5. mapagmahal

6. maaalahanin

7. marunong sa gawaing bahay

8. mahaba ang buhok

9. mabait

10. unpredictable

11. maunawain

12. matalino

13. sexy 36-24-36

14. mabuti ang kalooban

15. maalaga

16. malambing

17. modest

18. sensible

19. palaban

20. hard to get

21. nakikiride sa jokes

22. marunong makisama

23. brown eyes

24. down to earth

25. marunong kumanta

26. alam ang sagot sa tanong na "What is the essence of being a woman?"

27. sweet

28. lalaki ang hanap

For us girls the next list is what we made:

1. honest

2. thoughtful

3. responsible

4. mapang-unawa

5. loyal

6. mapagkakatiwalaan

7. mahabang buhok (straight)

8. semi-kalbo

{although personally, i prefer guys with clean, neat cuts:)}

9. marunong rumespeto ng kapwa

10. mapapatawa ka

11. matangkad

12. gentleman

13. magaling mag-gitara

14. alam ang priorities

15. may sense kausap

16. magaling sumayaw

17. sports-minded

18. hindi lang yung best foot forward ang pinapakita sa tao

19. may isang salita

20. magaling sa math

21. chinito

22. sensitive

23. naniniwala na dapat balanced ang babae’t lalaki

24. may effort/matiyaga

25. family-oriented

26. may deep side/mysterious

27. marunong makisama

28. importante ang pag-aaral sa kanya

29. marunong ng gawaing bahay

30. mahilig sa bata

31. kaya kang ipagtanggol

32. kahit saan dalhin pwede

33. obedient son

34. neat

35. gwapo

36. macho

But honestly, the above list doesn’t necessarily generalize what all women or men look for in their future partner.  To tell you the truth, i don’t quite agree with some of what’s in our list, and i wished to add more to it and take out some..like how can we like guys who are semi-kalbo and have long straight hair??? I don’t really have a list of my own, but kuya magoo has one for me! hahahaha!:)) I know i need not to have my own list, because He knows who He’s giving to me, and He knows the kind of partner that I need.:) For real!:)

His love is so amazing…Kare no ai wa suteki desu really..it is! It has been 12 days since the incident. I should have put my last entry in first person form…referring to myself as someone else didn’t really work to mask my identity! hahaha! Anyway, like I said, it has been nearly 2 weeks..and God has definitely blessed me with great and supportive friends and family that have helped me get through what i went through.  The mourning was there…until the end of last week…this week has been totally different! I no longer felt sad, in fact, i have been able to smile whenever i think about the so many moments that he and i have shared. God was good enough to help us part peacefully and remain in the friendship that we have fostered from the times that we have spent together.  And communication between us was not cut off, but it is no longer as regular as it used to be. I can say, and this is for real my dear friends, that God has turned my sorrow into joy! I no longer cry the silent tears. God has taken that away, and in it’s place, He has put a smile. (^_^) I know that I have been able to smile and laugh and rejoice, because I know for a FACT that He has me and my love story in His hands.(^_^) I thank Him for the people He has blessed me with whom have been the ones i leaned on and asked help from…so thank you..domo arigato gozaimasu and thank You! 

*He’s turned my mourning

into dancing again

He’s lifted my sorrows

I can’t stay silent

I must sing for His joy has come!

Where there once was only pain

He gave His healing hand

Where there once was only hurt

He brought comfort like a friend

I feel the sweetness of His love

piercing my darkness

I see the bright and morning sun

As it ushers in His joyful gladness!*

His anger lasts for a moment in time

But His favor is here

and will be on ME for all MY lifetime!*

His favor is on me and will be on me for the rest of my days! What a cause for celebration!!!!

She thought she was finally okay. She thought she could look back and smile at all the times they spent together.  She thought that when she retold the story of how they planned to remain just friends, she would not shed a tear. She was wrong.  The scene where he, for the first time, put his arm over her shoulder produced the tears more than any other memory…for the first time he put his arm over her shoulder–that time when he and she said that they were just friends. The moment was bittersweet. The conversation was a happy one, despite her tears. She knew he was never hers, he knew she was never his. The decision to remain just friends was mutual. He was far more prepared for it than she was. She was the first to express her side…but she was the one who cried. *Crud* Siya naman ang nagdesisyon..sya naman ang umiyak. She cries during her birthday…the day after it happened. She knew she had to do it. She knew it was the right thing to do..for the both of them. But she cries. The following day, she meets up with her friends. She tells them what happened.  They look proud of her, but she cries. Days later, she thinks she’s okay. She thinks that she has finally overcome the goulash of mixed emotions, only to find out that she still had that in her.  A mutual friend asks her how he and she are…she smiles. She tells it again, thinking that this time, it won’t get to her anymore. But it does. It gets to her, but only for a while. A few seconds later, she smiles…still with tears in her eyes. But nonetheless, she smiles.  She knows, she’ll overcome all this not by herself..but with Him by her side. Each day is a mark of progress, for she no longer wails, but rather cries silently..with peaceful tears, no longer with a heavy heart. But with a heart of gratitude and humility. All through His grace.

I have been 18 for 3 days now…and i don’t feel any different.  Should there be a magical feeling once a girl leaves her childhood and embraces adulthood? Should there be a greater sense of responsibility? (If there is I think the reason why I don’t feel such is because I’ve already felt that way prior to my turning 18.)

It’s funny, I remember that Sunday when our youth pastor, Pastor BJ asked me how old i was and then he said "18? 19?" and i was like "Pastor naman! 17 pa lang ako!" hehe..He apologized naman. And then he asked me if i had a boyfriend..of course, with all honesty, I answered no. I don’t know why he suddenly brought that up…he goes "I’m really puzzled as to why nobody has even tried to court you yet." I don’t know if that was a compliment, but i think i treated the statement as one, saying "eh wala talaga Pastor eh." And then i asked why he thought I was 19 and he said parang nag-flash daw sa mind niya yung age na 19 and parang discernment nya raw was that I’d have a boyfriend at that age. Weird. Right now, I am definitely single and unattached…for real na ‘to mga friends! I am no longer in a malabong usapan with Vince…YES! You read it right! And I am not making this up. It was something mutual and something that we know is for the better…don’t get me wrong ha! We’re still good friends but we’re just leaving it at that.:) And I still love him naman..it’s just that, this time, it’s a non-romantic love.:)

So yun…I dunno if Pastor BJ’s discernment will come true…but i don’t really mind..I’m placing my love life in God’s hands..something that I should have done a long long time ago.:) I don’t really mind if He puts it on hold for a while…His will be done in my life…that’s all I desire right now.  That’s where I want to be..in the center of His will–the safest place to be.

antagal ko na palang di nagbblog! first and foremost i want to say…i am finally 18! haha! some highlights of my turning 18:

june 4:

1.had lunch with my highschool friends

2.vince and i finally settled the score–we are just friends..nothing more.

3.i was able to worship the Love of My Life, my Lord, inspite of my brokenness.

4.i was still able to lead the youth in worship

5.malou went to youth after disappearing for more than a year! (yey!)

6.steph, malou and i went out after youth (i so missed that…*deep sigh*)

june 5:

1.was still with steph and malou and we brought kuya charles home

2.when i got home i couldn’t sleep and it was already nearing 3:30

3.mom called because pop had a fever and he had chills so i got up and made some tea for him

4.went to bed at around 4 in the morning. woke up at 9. slept again til 1020 then went to church.

5.i was late for the 1030 service..i came in at 11.

6.i had lunch with my CU-mates! and we ate dessert from the cake box!:))

7.watched alot like love with the whole CU and pastor BJ (don’t think it was a good idea, now that i come to think of it..the young ones were right)

8.i was late for family dinner!:)) but i cried…due to somethings i’d rather not encode for the entire friendster world to read…i’d rather share it with people who would understand:)

june 6:

1.i went to school at around 9.

2.stayed in the edfd 116 enlistment room (educ 205-A) from 9in the morning to 5:10 in the afternoon..although i went out for lunch..

3.nakilala ko si kuya ryan at si kuya tico sa enlistment room ng edfd 116 dahil sa sobrang tagal nilang magbukas ng section!:)) new friends because of enlistment!:))

4.i learned a new centipede joke!:)) ayus! hehe..

5.hindi pa rin ako nakapagenroll, pero at least nakuha ko yung edfd 116!

6.went to the General Assembly of CCC to be invited to play ultimate by Goya and my boyps, Revin

7.went to San Lorenzo village in makati to play ultimate (frisbee) and went home at around 10 something in the evening.

8.got home at lola’s house around 11:20.

june 7:

1.woke up at 8, had not lola woken me up i would’ve woken up later!

2.it’s mark’s (my younger bro’s) bday today

3.i rushed to my class (which was scheduled at 8:30) only to find out that the prof would not be meeting us today (drat, sayang ang pinangtaxi ko). 

4.instantly became the emcee for the FLCD block orientation (salamat talaga circlers! *sarcasm*)

5.finally got to enroll at 4:00 this afternoon! yey!

UBE–Ultimate Bonding Experience…*sigh* Lately, I have been spending UBEs with my kaCU. Not just with them, but God has allowed me to rekindle an old friendship that waned, but now it’s like it’s back to normal…but he’s far away though! Yesterday, I got my student permit from the LTO at the Las Piñas City Hall with my two kuyas. Another UBE! hahaha! Ang saya ng Yahoo! Messenger–it makes the world alot smaller. Easier communication, too! haha…I really don’t have anything much to say…just that I enjoy getting to know people. And getting to know more of the people I already know. I love my brothers and the times that I spend with them are the greatest, but not perfect. I’m usually the butt of their jokes..but i don’t really care..I’m kinda used to it. I hardly get to make a "come back" but I don’t mind coz when I do I’m usually on a "come back" streak! LOL!:)) oh well…anyway…like i said, I don’t really have anything much to say…:) I just feel so blessed.(^_^)