Unleashed Thoughts

mababaw lang naman ang kaligayahan ko. madali akong patawanin. ang baduy na joke, kadalasa’y bentang benta sa ‘kin.  kung bakit. hindi ko din alam…ganito lang din kasi talaga ako ginawa ng Panginoon.

"Paano po kung hindi naman kayo, pero meron kayong special understanding? Okay lang po ba yun?"

‘Yan ang isa sa mga tanong sa pagsasalo ng E-Cube sa How Deep is Your Love.  Emcee ako sa pagsasalong iyon, ngunit gusto ko sanang sagutin yung tanong.  Nakakatawa. Matagal ko nang alam ang sagot sa tanong na yun.  Kung babae ka, hindi okay yun dahil kadalasan, babae ang lugi sa ganoong klaseng relasyon–hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar. laging nasa gitna ng pagiging single at pagkakaroon ng jowa (haha..whatta term).  sa simpleng salita–limbo. kung lalaki ka naman, hindi okay yun, dahil hindi mo man lang naiisip kung gaano kahirap para sa babae ang malagay sa ganoong klaseng sitwasyon. 

halos lahat sa kakaunting relasyon na naranasan ko (sa pakikipagrelasyon sa  ibang kasarian) ay ganun. M.U. sabi nila "Mutual Understanding" pero sa totoo lang…"MAlabong Usapan"  Ilang beses ko nang  naranasan. nakakatawa dahil ang tigas talaga ng ulo ko. 

Natuwa lang sa sandaling may nagpakita na pinapahalagahan ka, pinoprotektahan ka…pero hindi nga lang kayo.  "Friends lang kami" pero ewan. Nakakatawa ang mga palusot ng tao sa ganung sitwasyon. 

Ngunit sa kabila ng katuwaan, katatawanan, at kakiligan, hindi nakakatawa ni nakakatuwa ang in-iinvest na oras at damdamin.  Hindi nakakatawa ni nakakatuwa ang masaktan ng paulit ulit dahil nung simula ka nang mahulog, nalaman mong wala na palang sasalo sayo.  Akala mo meron.  Kaya maraming namamatay sa maling akala eh.

Hindi ko naman sinisisi ang ibang tao sa napagdaanan kong ‘di kanais-nais, dahil alam ko naman na ako mismo ay may pagkukulang at may kasalanan.  Pangarap ko yun, na kung maulit man yun, sana saluhin na niya (kung sino man siya) ako.  O kaya naman sabay kaming mahulog, para hindi kami nag-aalinlangan, para hindi nakapang-hihinayang. Sana Siya ang magpasalo sa kanya (kung sino man siya). Para hindi lang nakakatuwa, kundi nakakagalak…

Shux…masyado yatang malakas ang hangover ko ng Singles Awareness Day (Valentine’s Day)

for quite some time, i lost touch with my best friend back in high school.  i was mostly to blame, simply because i didn’t do much effort to communicate. i would normally get a text message from her everyday. it didn’t matter if they were quotes, but it just showed that i crossed her mind daily. and the thanks i repaid, was the absence of a single SMS letting asking her how she was doing. 

come to think of it, i think i do have a poor way of keeping my friendships with friends from the past.  my way of thinking has turned to the "now".  whoever i am with at present, whoever i see more often, whoever i spend time with more often..they’re my friends. friends in the past still remained my friends, but always as words. always because we had shared great moments together, but i felt that because i haven’t been around them and they had no idea what was currently going on in my life, they weren’t my friends. 

but as i review my mind’s way of thinking, i find it flawed.  the main reason why they don’t know what i’m going through is because i don’t tell them.

i’ve seen my faulty end of the friendship, and i’m trying what i can to restore lost friendships and rekindle them to the friendship that it was once. 

it took me a wake up call from my bes’ boyfriend to make me realize that i haven’t exactly been pulling my weight around. so thanks.

In a record store I went to in 2003, I happened to listen to a song for the first time.  I liked the message of the song, but i didn’t know the title. 4  years later, I happened to stumble upon the song again as it played in our DVD player.  I tried to look for the title on the mp3 cover, but since it wasn’t printed in sequence, I just tried to search for the lyrics of the song through one snippet.  I finally found the song. I’m pasting a copy of the song here. The title of the song is the title of this blog entry.=) it was sung by Stevie Wonder and Charlene (whoever she is).

—————
Superman was killed in Dallas

There’s no love left in the palace

Someone took the Beatle’s lead guitar

Have another Chivas Regal

You’re twelve years old and sex is legal

Your parents don’t know where or who you are

Used to be the hero of the ballgame

Took the time to shake the loser’s hand

Used to be that failure only meant you didn’t try

In a world where people gave a damn

Great big wars in little places

Look at all those frightened faces

But don’t come here we just don’t have the room

Love thy neighbor’s wife and daughter

Cleanse your life with holy water

You don’t need to pay we’ve got a few

Used to be a knight in shining armor

Didn’t have to own a shiny car

Dignity and courage were the measures of a man

Not the drugs he needs to hide the scar

Can you picture me?

Does your preacher pray?

Does your president have soul?

Have you heard a real good ethnic joke today?

Mama took to speed and Daddy ran away

But you mustn’t lose control

Let’s cut a class, I’ve got some grass

The kids are wild we just can’t tame them

Do we have the right to blame them?

Fed them all with indecision
We’ve rigged their minds with television

But what the hell they’re too young to feel pain

But I believe that love can save tomorrow

Believe the truth can set us free

Someone tried to say it

And we nailed Him to a cross

I guess it’s still the way it used to be…

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The reason why I like this song is because of its portrayal of the realities of the world. What’s sad is that though this song was written 2-3 decades ago, the words hold true today. And it still holds true that there is someone who can save us, if we just let Him. We wonder why the world is so screwed, but looking at our families, at ourselves, do you really have to wonder?
So many people want to do things their own way, want nothing to do with God, and end up wondering why God doesn’t help them.